


Sentimentality and Pathetic Fools

by ScribblingMama



Series: Playing with the Infinity Arc (Marvel Series) [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence - Pre-Thor (2011), F/M, Light Angst, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki Grieves in His Own Way, Loki is angry, Original Character(s), Pre-Avengers (2012), Pre-Thor (2011), Sentimentality is for fools, loss of friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:34:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29921106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScribblingMama/pseuds/ScribblingMama
Summary: Loki learns about Sigyn's (Sienna) disappearance from Asgard, but he doesn't understand why she's left. He tries to hold onto hope and soon finds himself feeling several emotions when she doesn't return. After all, he's the one who has always said sentimentality is for children, and he'll soon learn that he, too, is susceptible to it.
Relationships: Loki & Thor (Marvel), Loki/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Playing with the Infinity Arc (Marvel Series) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2195352
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Sentimentality and Pathetic Fools

The party dragged on far longer than Loki could stand, but he bore it the best he could for his mother's benefit and her benefit alone. He suffered through the 'friendly' jibes his brother and his bothersome friends insisted on tossing his way now and again. Grin and bear it, he thought, recalling the words Sigyn had told him time and again. When he was alone or with Sigyn again, he could let loose and rant over the insipidness of the barbs tossed his way. Oh, he longed for the moment he could make his break and return to his room or the library on the off-chance of running into the only one he cared to keep in his company.

Thoughts of Sigyn continued to plague him throughout the evening. She'd appeared quite upset about something though she'd been loathe to expound on what had caused her such inconvenience. Surely, he hadn't done something to miff her. Then again, he could've. He did have a penchant for pranks and let them loose on anyone and everyone when the mood struck him. However, he hadn't done so to her in quite some time, not since he'd come to terms with a few things within himself. Those things had a lot to do with her, too, and he hoped to one day voice them. He just needed the courage and encouragement to do so.

A glance at the party attendees alerted him to the growing quiet of the Great Hall, signaling an end to the excessive celebration and a beginning of his relief to see this evening officially at its end.

Without a backward glance at his brother or father, he spared his mother a simple nod before departing the room.

Once outside the doors of the Great Hall and away from the few straggling out behind him, he teleported toward his rooms. With a well-practiced flick of his wrist, he removed his more formal clothing and strode toward the bathing room on the far side of his room, quite ready to wash the stench of the revelry off his skin. After that, he would seek out Sigyn and learn what has her so bothered, not intending to leave her be until she satisfied his curiosity and possibly accepted his help however he could offer it.

Ten minutes later, he deemed himself clean enough to depart the showers, garbed himself in one of his fancier tunics and leggings, and teleported into Sigyn's room. He paused at the made bed, unsure why she wouldn't be there at the late hour. Listening for any sounds beyond her door yielded nothing, the quiet disturbing him more than it should.

"She is gone, my son." The gentle words came unbidden behind him, startling him enough to spin and face his mother's clone.

Disbelief filled him at this news though he made sure to keep his features impassive as he asked, "Where has she gone?"

"That I do not know, but I know she did not want to go." His mother's face softened. "I know, too, she would not leave without telling you goodbye, my son, if she had a choice. She did not in this instance, and I am sure she will forever feel that pang within her."

Disappointment filled him at this news, but he shoved it aside, not ready or willing to accept Sigyn's sudden disappearance from his life. "How long will she be gone? I assume this is some important mission her mother must handle for the realm, then they will return."

Frigga shook her head, her expression softening further. "I fear she will not come home for some time. I am sorry, my son. You were quite fond of her, were you not?"

Unable to say the words aloud if they weren't to Sigyn, he expelled a single breath and nodded. His head pounded from the knowledge he'd gained and his heart gave a painful twist in his chest at the thought of never seeing her again. How was he to survive without her when he'd allowed himself to give in to sentimentality? What did it gain him but this new heartache?

"Excuse me, Mother," he said, his voice gruff with suppressed emotion.

"Certainly, my son." She grabbed hold of his shoulder before he could move past though and stopped him long enough to add, "I am here, and I am truly sorry, Loki."

With a final nod, he made his escape from the suites Sigyn and her mother occupied, preferring to walk back to his rooms. Along the way, he passed the doors to the great library, but he didn't dare enter that room for fear of too many memories assailing him. She was sure to haunt him within those walls and within the many rows of books and tomes they used to scour together in their downtime. His jaw tightened until he felt sure his teeth might crack from the pressure, but he accepted the pain over the one currently residing in his chest.

Denial warred with the knowledge his mother wouldn't lie to him, but he also swore he knew Sigyn. She wouldn't do this to him. She couldn't.

He scowled at the way his heart yearned for the one who'd made his existence in this golden palace bearable since his young childhood. How pathetic had he become to feel this way? When had he allowed sentimentality to rule him this way?

Entering his rooms, he grabbed up one of the precious trophies he'd gotten during his studies as a lad and hurled it toward the nearest wall. Satisfaction coursed through him as the trophy shattered and left a sizable dent in the wall. If sentimentality was going to rule, he might as well let it rule him until he'd burned through the rage, and worse, the sorrow could be replaced with indifference. Picking up another and another, he slung them against the wall until exhaustion won out. He slid down the wall behind him and covered his face with his hands. Blood trickled from where splinters had come back and nicked him, but he didn't pay the small wounds any mind, growing lost in his thoughts and memories.

Time drifted from that moment until sunlight slowly filtered into his room.

His mother found him there. Not saying a word, she helped him up and into his bath to clean him up, tending to the few cuts that hadn't healed with his seidr.

"You will get through this, Loki. The pain will ease, and you will be stronger for knowing her and remembering what you two have shared. Never give up hope that you will see her again, my son. The future has a way of working out for us all. It will no doubt do the same for you, but you must pull yourself together and be the man Sigyn and I have always expected and knew you to be."

His mother finished cleaning him up and nodded, leaving him alone to gather himself.

Resolve slowly filled him as his mind grew clear. He had a mission, and that mission included finding Sigyn and gaining some answers. Those were the least he deserved after all the years of friendship, and those would be the ones he'd gain before he could accept her loss from his life.

Dressing in his training gear, he strode toward the one place he knew Sigyn and her mother would've gone to leave Asgard. If anyone had the answers he needed, it was Heimdall, and Loki had no intention of leaving without his curiosity being satisfied.

Half an hour later, he roared his frustration and sought out more things to smash and splinter. The gatekeeper refused Loki's inquest and sent him back to the castle with little more than the idea that Sigyn was safe wherever she was. Nothing more, nothing less.

With little more to go on, he made his way into the training hall and took out all his anger and frustration on anyone with the unfortunate timing to be there, sparring until he fell to his knees in exhaustion. His anger burned bright despite the physical taxation on his person from the hours he spent within the training hall. Sinking against a corner, he finally succumbed to that exhaustion. His head fell back against the wall, and his eyes closed.

"Brother, this nonsense has to end. Sigyn wouldn't care to see you like this."

Loki gave a derisive chuckle at this. "What do you know about Sigyn? You tolerate her as much as you do me, Brother."

He spat the word, brother, at Thor's form as it took up the majority of the hall's doorway. The last person he'd wanted to see that day would happen to be the one who found him. Did his lack of luck know no bounds?

"I know her well enough to know what I said to be true. She has always cared for you, Loki, and I believe she would make you a good wife. She's certainly the only one I've met with the mettle to put up with us Odinsons." Thor offered a small smile as he stepped further into the room and held out his hand for Loki to take. "Come along. You should get cleaned up and eat before Father sees you like this. Mother is already worried about you. You really want Father to be concerned as well?"

Loki scowled. "No, I do not."

Taking the hand Thor offered, he hauled himself to his feet and stalked back to his rooms, aware of Thor's presence the entire way. He ignored his older brother though and didn't say anything before slamming his doors shut behind him. He definitely ignored the look Thor shot at him and the consolation offered. They weren't wanted or necessary.

"No more," he whispered to his reflection. He stared at himself until he grew satisfied with his aloof expression, a façade he'd cultivated over the years that never cracked except in the presence of Sigyn or his mother. It took some doing, having grown unfamiliar in recent years, but he succeeded in bringing it back. "I am Loki of Asgard, the God of Mischief."

The mantra would be one he'd repeat quite often, twisting some over the years as he learned new things about himself and his heritage. Anger and resentment would burn greater with each revelation and fuel his desire to rule what he believed rightfully his. Those plans would send him on a collision course with the one woman who knew how to handle him.

**Author's Note:**

> For clarification (if needed), Thor does not know why Sigyn left, either, as he wasn't consulted about the whole arranged marriage between him and Sigyn. Sigyn only learned of it because Odin had summoned her along with her mother to discuss it with him and Frigga first. Thor and Loki were meant to learn of it after arrangements had been made for the betrothal. Frigga thinks it best that neither learns of it after Sigyn and her mother flee Asgard as it wouldn't do anything to foster closeness between the brothers but rather would tear them apart.


End file.
